Last night you were in Michael’s buying a $3 t-shirt along with $20 worth of fabric markers to make a Pi shirt that will be worn for one day and one day only, spending the rest of its life in a crumpled ball at the back of a dresser drawer.
This morning you were in Stop & Shop the second they opened the door to buy an actual pie. Your hair was wet because you just got out of the shower. No make up or jewelry but you did switch your slippers for shoes before you left the house. The place was empty except for one extraordinarily put-together woman in a suit and heels who smiled at you like you were The Help. There were only 3 pies left because every other parent was there last night buying pies. You wind up with a lemon crunch pie that little old ladies eat.
Your 6th grader thinks you have Alzheimer’s because you can’t remember the number for Pi, or really why Pi matters enough to devote an entire day to it. You never even bake pies, because they really aren’t as easy as the saying goes. You would probably eat a piece of lemon crunch pie though, because at this point the nursing home looks pretty good. Three hots and a cot. Bingo games and sing-alongs. Maybe a bus trip to the mall.
Who the heck started Pi Day? Certainly there was no such thing when I was a kid. Math was boring, like it’s supposed to be. But heck, it’s a brave new world. Maybe we should celebrate Pi Day in the workplace as well. Or have Pi Day parties a la Martha Stewart. Bring back Quiche. Make Pi crafts (I have a lot of fabric pens). Surely there must be a Pi Day cocktail you could serve in a beaker. I can hear the college frat chants now, Pi-T, Pi-T. This would work well in Boston or Rhode Island where the r’s already get dropped.
I guess I would be more willing to embrace Pi Day if there was a literary equivalent for us reading/writing geeks. But what would we celebrate? National i before e day? Surely we can do better than that.